"How avout my Votorcycle?.. Vlease??..."
"Mmm.. Yummy!"
"...at dipindi pa sa klasi. ay?"
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Ded Shit Happens
[via Pinas Update]
"How avout my Votorcycle?.. Vlease??..."
"Mmm.. Yummy!"
"...at dipindi pa sa klasi. ay?"
"How avout my Votorcycle?.. Vlease??...""Mmm.. Yummy!""...at dipindi pa sa klasi. ay?"
Tsex Unlimited
I only have SEX
on days that begin with T:
Thanksgiving.
Tuesday.
Thursday.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Thaturday.
Thunday...
Tevery day!
on days that begin with T:
Thanksgiving.
Tuesday.
Thursday.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Thaturday.
Thunday...
Tevery day!
You will be THE MAN...
Today
its cool to
have small cars
and small computers.
Soon it will be cool to have
a small penis too.
Then you my friend
will be THE MAN!!!
its cool to
have small cars
and small computers.
Soon it will be cool to have
a small penis too.
Then you my friend
will be THE MAN!!!
Friendship is like peeing in your pants.
Friendship is like peeing in your pants.
everyone can see it
but only u can feel
its true warmth.
thank u 4 being the pee in my pants.
:D
everyone can see it
but only u can feel
its true warmth.
thank u 4 being the pee in my pants.
:D
X-Ray Mobile Phone now released!
So you’re ready to enter the 21st century and you want so much to have the latest cool-looking mobile phone so you can tirelessly flaunt to impress the ladies.
Well, I hope you're ready for this. The dream phone of all those FHM and MAXIM readers has eventually arrived.
The new 5005X is here!
I bet you can't wait to have one, huh.
Any comment?...
Well, I hope you're ready for this. The dream phone of all those FHM and MAXIM readers has eventually arrived.
The new 5005X is here!
I bet you can't wait to have one, huh.
Any comment?...
69 kuya!
ANAK: Mommy, ano yung sex?
INA: Ah.. eh.. number yun anak!
ANAK: Tama! Kasi sabi ni Daddy kay yaya, "sex tayo." Tapos sumagot si yaya, "69 ba ulit kuya?"
INA: Ah.. eh.. number yun anak!
ANAK: Tama! Kasi sabi ni Daddy kay yaya, "sex tayo." Tapos sumagot si yaya, "69 ba ulit kuya?"
Easiest way to die
Easiest way to die...
1. Have a cigar daily -- you'll die 10 years early.
2. Get drunk daily -- you'll die 30 years early.
3. But love someone who doesn't love you -- you'll die daily.
1. Have a cigar daily -- you'll die 10 years early.
2. Get drunk daily -- you'll die 30 years early.
3. But love someone who doesn't love you -- you'll die daily.
UnderDog
DOCTOR: What happened to your knees?!
LADY: Too much dog-style s_x.
DOCTOR: Don't you know any other style?...
LADY: I do... But the dog doesn't.
LADY: Too much dog-style s_x.
DOCTOR: Don't you know any other style?...
LADY: I do... But the dog doesn't.
Manny Coon Gives A Commencement Speech
Congratulations to all graduates! Here's for you and especially for those who stood up their Alma Mater.
Man-to-Man(hood)?
Son: Dad! Nakipag-SEX ako sa teacher ko!
Dad: Talaga?! Halika inuman tayo. Let's celebrate your coming to manliness!
Son: Bukas na lang dad... Ang sakit ng pwet ko!...
:p
Salawikain
"Better LATE than PREGNANT."
"Pag may tiyaga... goodluck!"
"Aanhin mo pa ang damo, kabayo ka ba?..."
"Ang batang masipag, paglaki katulong."
"Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay lumaki sa ibang bansa."
"Ang taong nagigipit.. sa bumbay kumakapit."
"Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika.. sanggol pa lang."
"Kung maiksi ang kumot... ..twalya yata yan p're!"
Pooh as Manny Poohquiao on Wowowee!
Pooh's da Best!...
Everybody loves Pooh. So I've got to embed these vids on Text Unlimited. :D
Enjoy poohlks!!
Part One
Part Two
If you enjoy this post, share it. And feel free to leave comments.
Hide and Seek and...
GF: Taguan tayo!
BF: Sige ba! Ano premyo ko pag nahanap kita?
GF: Sex tayo.
BF: Uy wow! Eh Pa'no pag di kita nahanap?
GF: eeeeiii!!... kainis to! BASTA! Nasa likod lang ako ng drum!!!
:D
Poverty And Human Rights Violation
"Di nyo ba talaga ako makita?? I'm over here noh!"
GMA: I will STOP POVERTY and MASS STARVATION!..
ERAP: Alam mo Gloria, yung POVERTY madaling pigilin!
Pero ang MASTURBATION, pag ipinagbawal mo, human rights violation yan!!...
:p
(Above GMA photo courtesy of EdwinBacasmas. thanx man... wherever u are. Below, stolen from somewhere, respectfully, of course.)
"Taraaaan!!! Ayan nakikita nyo na ako sa wakas! Look here na noh!"
"Hay naku Gloria! Bumaba ka na dyan at i-Add
mo na lang ako sa Friendster mo. Teka, pano ba maglagay ng picture?".
Kris Aquino and James Yap. Menthol Lovers!
Kris and James (Photo respectfully stolen from pep.ph)
All is fair in love:
Kung may PHILIP si KRIS,
may HOPE naman si JAMES.
Both menthol.
Cooool! :p
A Toy and a Leaf
A toy..
A leaf..
a toy..
a leaf..
a toy
a leafin mo katit hindi batid..
aaminin to mintan ato'y manhid..
by Tyamrock! :p
Textus Addictus
Textus Addictus just lost
his cellphone... and his mind.
Textus Addictus - A Morphologic modern looking subterranean half japanese half spitz homo erectus E.T. with a half brain ranging from 300 to 600cc only good for unlimited texting. Check how you key in ur text and see how Textus Addictus runs in your blood!... :D
Happy texting!
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